Salmonella Sounds like Salmon, Mmm–Or At Least That’s What a Pistachio Manufacturer Would Like You to Think

So apparently you can’t eat anything anymore ever. Because more likely than not you will get salmonella and die.

Since the contaminated spinach chaos in late 2006, we’ve learned that salmonella has evolved to become an equal opportunity contaminator.. either that, or the FDA’s regulatory practices have become so lax that maybe the government should take the heavily taxed AIG bonuses to do some real work at the FDA.

Setton Farms, the second largest pistachio processor in the nation, is recalling 1 million pounds of pistachios, now added onto the list of food to fear along with many varieties of peanut butter.

http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2009/03/30/health/main4905228.shtml

And joining the crew are Uncle Chen’s spices produced by the Union International Food Company (a California-based company; coincidentally, so is Setton Farms).

http://www.kcra.com/news/19053047/detail.html

Either this is a huge conspiracy amongst the little microbes to take over the world like the Keebler elves have tried to do for so long or the FDA is finally shedding light (by pretending to do something) on how unbelievably corrupt and useless they have been all these years. Though the prior would make for a great Family Guy episode, the latter is probably more accurate.

The truth is, the food industry is one that will always continue to grow and, unless we outsource all of our food production, will most likely never need a bailout because.. well, people need to eat. I’m sure the people that had to take two weeks off of work after getting sick from salmonella are thrilled that the government has found the one division of itself where the truly incompetent remain employed.

Lower East Side Cozy-Factor, Washington Square Park Appeal

The scaffolding on the corner unfairly hides La Lanterna Caffe of a clear view from the street, but don’t let its humble exterior fool you to see it a typical college wasteland of drunken frat boys. A great authentic pizza place on the southern tip of Washington Square Park, it has a menu comparable to an authentic Italian restaurant in the Village with the ambiance of Lower East Side garden café.

I celebrated a friend’s birthday here last Saturday and was very pleasantly surprised given none of us had been there before and didn’t know what to expect. The menu choices were superfluous to say the least and the lack of proper lighting didn’t make reading it simple for the already one and a half drink deep members of our party.

But the food was fantastic. Great traditional Italian appetizers such as roasted pepper bruschetta and tuna carpaccio salad are matched perfectly with the variety of made to order thin crust pizzas actually made with fresh ingredients.. something Papa John’s claims and La Lanterna achieves.

Head downstairs for a bathroom trip just to check out the hip bar, live music, and fantastic smell of freshly baked dough.

The best part: full bar and extremely affordable, even for the NYU crowd.

My one quib: The waitress, while very sweet, felt the need on several occasions to ever so graciously give us some of her responsibilities such as asking one member of our party to hand out drink napkins and another to remind her later that we ordered a slice of tiramisu instead of death by chocolate with a dollar store candle in the middle for the birthday girl. Paper and pen, darling, there’s your reminder.

Smith and Wollensky vs. Quality Meats: A Family of Two Completely Different Steakhouses

Just as every Ray’s Pizza claims to be the original, NYC boasts a host of steakhouses, all claiming to be the best steakhouse in the city. I’ve had the pleasure of eating at two of the more popular—and pricey—steakhouses: Smith and Wollensky and Quality Meats. Both present themselves as pompously chic, the prior as old New York and the latter as opulent New York, and both owned by Fourth Wall Restaurants.

However, not all steakhouses are created equal, and, although the atmosphere in both is fabulous, the service at Quality Meats was that of a Sbarro and the cuisine in Smith and Wollensky couldn’t be more painfully boring.

Ironically, the servers at Smith and Wollensky had fantastic customer service and the food at Quality Meats was probably one of the best dinners I’ve had in a long time. Smith and Wollensky menu was very basic: shrimp and fried calamari to start, onion rings and potatoes with the main course of either fish or steak, no flourishes, no interesting spices, not unappetizing, but hardly a meal I would choose to experience again. For some, the stick-to-grandma’s-basics fancy-schmancy steakhouse might be a find, but for me, it’s only worth returning for the bar and the surprisingly tasty poo-poo platter of desserts.

The menu at Quality Meats is very similar to that of Primehouse on 27th and Park (the BEST steakhouse on Park in that area, hands down, sorry Angelo and Maxies). I went there for a Valentine’s Day dinner, and, granted it was a busy night, we were still sat 15 minutes late after arriving 5 minutes early for our reservation. After waiting what seemed liked hours for our appetizers, the couple next to us, that was sat 20 minutes after we were, got their appetizers and their dinner before we did. Not cool for a place where the obscenely high prices could only be backed up by excellent service. Oops! But I must say the manager made up for it with three free sides, topped off our wine glasses, and comped our appetizers. But most importantly, the food was phenomenal. Steakhouse classics like aged sirloin, crabcake, and butternut squash soup, paired with new classics like the cholesterol and clogged arteries friendly gnocchi and cheese, creamed spinach, and seared tuna. Round 2, and my pick, goes to you, Quality Meats!

The Golden Apple Awards

So here’s the closest thing I found to LA’s restaurant grading policy. The NYC Department of Health and Mental Hygiene presents the Golden Apple Excellence in Food Safety Award every year. Basically, it recognizes restaurants that have consistently maintained excellent food safety practices for at least 2 consecutive inspections, and they receive a fancy schmancy certificate and a gold star on the bulletin board in the form of a door decal to proudly display to all who enter. Here’s a link to past winners (found much easier on cititour.com and not on the NYCDHMH website.. a perfect display of city tax dollars hard at work, not surprisingly):

http://cititour.com/NYC_Restaurants/apples.php

Granted the last time they gave out the awards—at least to my knowledge after heaving googling—was 2006, I was pleasantly surprised to find my favorite, quaint, NYC originals like Subway, McDonald’s, and Dunkin Donuts made the hit-list.

Are you kidding me?! These are among the winners for best food safety practices in the 5 boroughs? What about everything we learned from Fast Food Nation and Supersize Me? What about the overpriced and super-chic but delicious spots that populate the city more than gyms do?

There are some great places (I’ve heard of but have yet to try) that made the grade like Café Palermo, Lamarca, and Post House. The pitiful lack of sushi restaurants on this list makes Cocina de Lina (aka my kitchen) the most appetizing place to eat at these days.

So what I gather from this is that our society—in terms of food safety at least—is on a downward spiral, and fast food eateries are continuing to serve the battered and deep fried, apparently most hygienic cake. Take that, Upton Sinclair. Have no fear, though; I will continue to brave the finest—and not so finest—NYC restaurants for the sake of my readers.

For the nerds interested in more details and how the NYCDHMH chooses eateries:
http://www.nyc.gov/html/doh/downloads/pdf/inspect/goldenapple_brochure.pdf

Public Hygiene Grading Policy for Restaurants.. Why Doesn’t NYC Have this Yet?

As the #1 market in the country for.. well, everything, the leader in banishing smoking and trans-fats from our restaurants (my lungs and thighs thank you, Mr. Mayor and CSPI), it only makes sense that the NYC Department of Health step up their game and catch up to a transparency policy in Los Angeles County. The ordinance requires a public posting of restaurant hygiene grades (A, B, or C) based on the LA County Department of Heath Services inspections. The grades—starting from 100—deduct points for improper practice in a range of specific practices such as food temperatures, serving and kitchen area handling and preparation, equipment cleaning, employee sanitary practices, and surveillance of vermin. Then it’s back to the old-school grading system: cumulative points are deducted from a starting score of 100. So a score in the 90’s is an A, in the 80’s is a B, in the 70’s is a C, and for a score below 70 they call your parents and demand an immediate change of practices, which, depending on the severity, could include suspension of the owner’s health permit and closing the restaurant.

Best of all, the ordinance requires every restaurant to proudly—or not so proudly—display their test scores on the proverbial refrigerator: the front door. So when I enter the hair sandwich deli or the pee-pee potato gourmet cafe, at least I know what I’m getting myself into.

Plus, a down economy is the perfect time for such an ordinance to make its way into the City of 10,000 Delis to weed out the bad and allow the best to stay afloat when they truly deserve to, at least in terms of hygiene.

And now with a change in administration, hopefully the FDA will get more power so that they could, I don’t know, have the ability to actually do something about the disgraceful food safety practices some US of A companies have displayed. Therefore, Mr. Mayor, I will consider re-electing you for that coveted and unprecedented third term if you keep firm to your health-conscious platform and lower my taxes. Well, at least keep the fur out of my food.

Philippe?! Really?!

If you think the fancy schmancy “have to be hospital sanitary” restaurants are nothing to worry about, then feel free to type in your favorite spot at the NYC Department of Health and Mental Hygiene’s Restaurant Inspection Info link:

http://167.153.150.32/RI/web/index.do?method=goldenAppleList

I couldn’t believe it.. my favorite over-priced-but-sooo-good pan-Asian splurge, Philippe, barely passed their inspections. Before, just thinking about their chicken satay would make my mouth water; now I imagine it a scene out of Seinfeld, where Jerry goes to his girlfriend’s father’s restaurant and can’t bare to eat the food after witnessing the father, Poppy, casually leave the bathroom without washing his hands.

I can understand some hole-in-the-wall restaurant in the middle of nowhere, Square State, USA having little incentive to prevent a poor hygiene problem, but it’s unacceptable for a restaurant that hosts celebrity events and is featured on The Real Housewives of New York City (yes, I watch too much reality TV, it’s a guilty pleasure), let alone for the Big Apple in general. I doubt I’m the only one to have the recession special hair sandwich everywhere I go and am definitely not the last to fall victim to it.

Although, while on the subject of Philippe, I do have one quib about their bartenders. My last visit, about a month ago, while waiting for the rest of my party to arrive, I made a bee-line for the bar to order my “only when I’m feeling fabulous” drink: a cucumber martini. The bartender, as to not degrade herself by looking me straight in the eye, glances in my general direction and barks, “Sorry, doesn’t exist!” and quickly turned away to take someone else’s order. She must not have gotten the memo because when I ordered the same drink a mere few days earlier at Union Prime, the bartender was having a 15 minute conversation with me about how I prefer it made and such. I don’t overpay for a drink at Philippe for the bartender to belittle me. To avoid a conflict, I ordered a Ketel and Soda instead. I’m glad she knew how to make that with her middle school education.

Lyric Diner Hair Wrap

So, not to my surprise, the hair sandwich trend translated quite nicely into a hair wrap this weekend when I went to the popular (it was on MTV’s The City so I can backup that statement) Lyric Diner on 22nd and 3rd for a quiet Sunday lunch. After several admittedly enormous bites, I look down on my plate to find a squiggly black hair. My boyfriend was unfazed and continued to devour his chicken sandwich but I lost my appetite. Feeling it was my duty as a paying customer to let the manager know of my discovery, his response was a painfully indifferent and unremorseful, “I’m sorry. Yes, they do wear hair nets,” in an I-don’t-know-what-else-to-tell-you tone. He comped my meal but I left feeling dissatisfied, not to mention hungry. At least the Pick-A-Bagel next door sufficed. A sad continuation of the hair wrap trend from my formerly beloved Moonstruck Diner on 38th and Madison. Maybe hair nets should be replaced.. I vote on plastic bags with very uber-tight elastic bands.

Lenny’s Hair Sandwich

The Lenny’s hair sandwich.. once an enigma to all who place New York City restaurants on a pedestal (including myself), has now unfortunately become a pitiful norm of hair in sandwiches everywhere with no end in sight. The last two times I visited the 23rd Street Lenny’s, I ordered my usual—turkey, cheddar, lettuce, tomato, onions, spicy mustard on a whole wheat wrap—and got a bonus short, dark hair free of charge. I appreciate their generosity but would prefer to just get what I paid for. Sure, I could have avoided the second follicle encounter by learning my lesson the first time, but a NYC institution like Lenny’s deserves a second chance. Fool me twice, shame on both you and me.